Soul Wipe by Tahira Iqbal

As Jaxon slept beside her, Cassidy couldn’t help but watch. Yet it made her fight back tears. The oh so familiar feeling of being stabbed in the heart made her get out of bed at 5 AM.

Another panic was rising in her throat. Screams threatened to erupt from her throat as the horror and sense of invasion ripped through her all over again. She had been fighting it for so long now and every now and again the terror came back. All the unanswered questions slamming through her system.

Washing her face, she splashed as much cold water as she could bear. Staring at her reflection, she saw a familiar gaze - her eyes were back to their normal colour. She shivered. Feeling violated and dirty at the thought that she had shared her body with something... Something that just didn’t make sense. But where had it gone, it had been over a week... And nothing.

Gathering her clothes, she left the room and got changed in the spare bedroom, she didn’t want to worry Jaxon about her need to flee the house at such a time. Kissing a still sleeping Jaxon, she left 10 minutes later, handbag slung over her shoulder.

Coming to a halt as she dug for car keys, she spied Jaxon’s car in the dimness. The one that they had had the accident in... Her heart vaulted. Not a single scratch, dent or mark to signify the nature of that night.

She found the keys... And striding with confidence she got into Jaxon’s car. The engine turned. That familiar noise of the powerful car warming up made her uneasy.
Shunning fears and pain, she gunned the engine and tore out of the driveway. It was time to be strong.

Twenty minutes later, in the still dark of night, Cassidy found herself at her bolt hole. The local 24 hour supermarket. Loud stomach rumbles had put a stop to any further travels.

So benignly, Cassidy trawled the near empty aisles. The trolley a support, but she wasn’t even in the mood for shopping, instead her mind churned over the events of the past week.

There had been no contact from the star, mentally or physically. Needless to say, seeing him real, in front of her very eyes... It made her wobbly all over again.

She had tried to talk to Jaxon about what she was going through, but the words were jumbled and tumbled awkwardly out of her mouth. So she had shut up, covered her sad features with a bright smile and got on with her “new” life.

But the internal agony she was feeling from losing Joel was tough. She had made further inquiries, calling his place of work, speaking to his parents... But it all came back the same. Joel was dead. And had been for a long time... She didn’t even have a grave to visit and pay her respects. His parents had opted for cremation.

Heavy shivers caused her to tighten her grip of the trolley and concentrate on getting some shopping done. She didn’t even know what she needed... She hadn’t even bothered making a list. Jaxon had been doing everything whilst she had been sick, but she decided to go with the essentials.

Feeling still and calm for the moment, Cassidy continued to wander. Grabbing some milk, eggs, she had enough to cook a nice breakfast for him. It was the least she could do. He was due to go back to work soon, and she needed to prove that she could stand on her own two feet. What about her... Did she have a job in this life... What was her purpose?

Maybe this episode with the star was over, they had collided but now, maybe, they were on their separate ways. Their cosmic collision a gift rather than a curse?

That thought made her smile, and suddenly she let her guard down just a little bit. Maybe this was the life she was destined for. Maybe she had been given a chance that no other person got. And she had to take it. Because life without Jaxon wasn’t something she wanted to do again.

She stopped at the newspapers – the headlines were still littered with the event. Almost detached, she walked past them. The world’s governments still ever determined to fine the invader. Let them get on with it she thought... She wasn’t about to tell everyone what happened to her. And that included Jaxon. But why her? What was so special about her?

She paid for her goods and headed back to the car, purchases in one bag. The fresh air that only came with the promise of a new day made her smile. Birds twittered, just one or two in the distance.

As she neared her car, she realised that someone was leaning against the bonnet.

“Excuse me,” She said without thinking, “That’s my car, and I don’t appreciate the close proximity of your arse on it,”

The stranger laughed, but didn’t turn to look at her. She broke into a cold sweat. She was all alone in a dim car park with what looked like a drunken or drugged out fool. She should have just gone back inside, rather than instigate a challenge.

The figure stood, and faced her. The next thing Cassidy knew was that she was dropping her shopping at her feet and running in the opposite direction from him.

The star followed. His pace matching hers, and as she rounded the corner towards the back of the supermarket, his hand was on her shoulder.

Easily, he brought her to a halt, pinning her against the wall. Out of sight from the world. Safety. Her chest puffed with the effort of the run, his manner cool and calm. This was his time wasn’t it? Night – he had hours still to terrorise her, sunrise was far away.

There was a lazy smile on his lips, and his hands were anchored at her hips, his body pressed against hers. The stone wall dug into the back of her head, sparse lighting dulling his features.

“Let me go,” Cassidy whispered, “Now,”
The smile widened, he leaned in more, smelling her hair, his cheek brushing hers.

A yelp of terror escaped her lips.
“You’re not real,” She said, “This isn’t real,”

The star met her gaze. A cold blue and brutal stare. This was the first time Cassidy had seen him properly.

“Don’t be scared,” He said gently, “I don’t want to hurt you,”

Cassidy wriggled again, trying to get free.
He whispered, catching her teary gaze,
“I’ve given you a gift, but now its time for me to take it back,”

Words didn’t form, and his grip on her hips tightened.
Her watery gaze cleared,
“You have no right to terrorise me,” She pushed, and the star stumbled back.

A swift grip to her arm, pulled her back into the star’s possessive hold.
“I’ll be back when you’re ready to accept me and what I have to offer,”

The star pushed her backwards, hard. Tripping, Cassidy fell back, smacking her head on the ground. And she was out cold.

* * *

On waking, Cassidy was staring up at a night sky. Sitting up, she realised she was still at the supermarket. A headache swirling, she grabbed her handbag which had become lodged under her body.

Scrabbling up, she went to the car. What the fuck had just happened...? Rubbing the back of her head, luckily she had been uninjured.

Her shopping was still where she had left it, so grabbing it, she was about to open the boot when she heard an almighty metallic scraping.

It seemed to emanate from the car... Jaxon’s car.

Stepping back, she watched in abject horror as the metal began to buckle. It was as if an invisible giant fist was pounding it. The windows blew out, causing her seek a further distance. The roof came in next, large dents appearing...

“Oh god...”
The car began to take a horribly familiar guise.
“Jaxon...” Cassidy mumbled, “Oh god...”

And she turned and ran. Not looking back as the car tipped and turned onto it side, more glass breaking and then deathly quietness... Just like that night.

Having hailed a cab, Cassidy arrived home. Charging up the drive, she sobbed in terror.

House keys in her shaky hands, she tore open the front door.

The first thing that hit her was the smell of fresh flowers. Dropping her handbag, she ran through into the living room. The house dark, lonely and uncharacteristically still.

The truth began to bloom in her stomach... But she pushed it away firmly. No, this wasn’t happening... Not again.

Her hands flew to her mouth to stop her from screaming. Memories clicked and overlapped.

Dozens of sympathy cards filled her view, flowers in vases. All in memory of Jaxon.

She bolted upstairs.

An unmade bed, her clothes strewn across the room, curtains shut. She went to the wardrobes, Jaxon’s side was bare. Forcing herself to keep it together, she went to spare bedroom.

And Cassidy screamed. Jaxon’s belongings had been packed away in boxes. She had done this herself. 2 years ago.

She ran back down, staring at the living in sheer disbelief. But it was all too much.

Arms reached around her.

Turning round, she was confronted by the star. It held her close, almost in a lovers embrace. Her heart pounded against his as she sobbed.

“Oh please don’t do this...” Cassidy moaned, “I can’t... Not again... I can’t lose him again!”

Pulling away, the star's gaze held hers. She sobbed, sickness rising up her throat.
“Please...Where is he?”
“You’ve seen this before haven’t you Cassidy? This time, this ache... Just say yes, and it will all be over, I will return Jaxon to you...”
“Why me?!”

Fury ripped through her, and she pulled away from the star. Anger tearing through her, gathering in her fist. She lashed out, the punch landing squarely across his cheek. Without flinching he carried on.
“Do you want to play?” He said.

Cassidy looked around, the anger, loneliness and fear hitting her all over again.

Breathlessly, she looked at the star, focusing on those eyes that once had been hers.
“Yes,” She said.

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COPYRIGHT - TAHIRA IQBAL - 2006